“This is the true joy in life:
being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one;
being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself
to making you happy.” 
-George Bernard Shaw

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When you’re in the trenches of seeing a dream through from a teeny sparkle in your heart to your great big reality, it’s easy to slip into...do I dare say it?...a state of selfishness.

I don’t think it’s done deliberately. In fact, most creatives are the exact opposite of “selfish.” We’re givers (sometimes to a fault). We’re fixers. We live by a deep-seeded belief that we have something inside of us that must be shared with the world.

Still, we can become so driven to see our dream through and so focused on the to-do lists attached to that dream that other priorities can unnoticeably slip into the backseat of our lives. Our mantra becomes “I must do this,” “I can do this,” “I will do this.” And then, when things don’t work out quite right, when we become frustrated, angry even, we mistakenly conclude that we aren’t working hard enough, when really those feelings are a gentle nudge telling us some other aspect of our life has swung out of balance.

This was the case for me just yesterday. I was feeling energized. Hopeful even. I’d submitted my resume for another potential freelance opportunity and a book idea struck like lightning earlier in the afternoon. Yes, the gears had kicked it up a notch; I felt as though I was clipping along toward my new reality a little faster than before.

Once home, I plopped myself down on the living room floor and started working out some of the details for the book idea. My husband was in the adjacent kitchen at the computer.

“Honey, what did we budget for household items this month?” he asked.

I answered.

“And what about restaurants and entertainment?” he asked.

I answered again, this time just a wee bit irritated at the break in my concentration.

“Do you know what our cell phone bill will be next month?” he asked.

“No, because we don’t have the bill.” I replied…this time fully irritated.

He started to say something else, but I rudely cut him off.
 
“I really don’t want to talk finances right now,” I snapped. “Can’t you see I’m trying to make use of what little time I have this evening so I can actually make some progress on my goals.”

Ouch. I heard the selfishness in my voice before the sentence was completely out of my mouth. I, I, I. My, my, my. It was all about me. My husband works full-time, too, and yet he was choosing to use this time he had at home to go through our monthly budget—something I’d been asking him to do with me for the past couple of weeks. Ok, so his timing wasn’t the best, but he was still choosing to put “us” before himself.

My dream to fulfill my purpose as a writer and artist started out as something for “us.” After all, a happier partner (me) leads to a happier marriage, doesn’t it? And with a non-conventional job there would be more flexibility and freedom in our life to do all the other things we’ve talked about doing: thru-hike the Appalachian Trail, move to and experience new places, raise bees and try our hand at making and selling natural, hand-crafted soaps, write books, make art…live life simply and happily.

It appeared that the stress, fatigue and frustration that go hand-in-hand with the joy, excitement and fulfillment of working on a dream had the upper hand in this moment.

This isn’t all about me, I reminded myself. This is what living life as my authentic, creative self and using my gifts can bring to others, be it my marriage, my husband, my family, my friends, the world.

Today, the Wishcasting Wednesday prompt over at Jamie Ridler Studios touches on this idea of micro versus macro. The self versus others.

“What do you wish for the world?”

The question takes the focus off the ego, and instead asks us to look for a deeper, further-reaching component to our dream and creative aspirations.

What do I wish for the world? My reflex response would be peace, followed by love and all with a healthy dose of understanding. And while I do wish for all those things, I think they come under a bigger wish: a wish for us all to see the world through someone else’s eyes.

If we all took a moment to shift our perspective and see a situation from another person’s vantage point, we might begin to cultivate greater awareness of others’ needs. We might be able to recognize our common ground before our differences. We might be able to see the beauty and depth in differing opinions, and stop saying someone else is wrong just because we think we’re right.

To cheaply borrow from John Lennon, you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one.


Your One Step:

Today, take a break from your dream. That’s right, you heard me. Put down the pen, close the laptop, cap that tube of paint.

Today, I want you to use some of the time you’d normally give to your dream, and use it to bring some light and love to someone else. Don’t worry. You can still bring creativity into it.

Write a letter—a real, honest-to-goodness, tangible, written-on-paper letter—to a loved one you don’t see very often and decorate the paper with doodles, color and embellishments. Bake a special dessert for your sweetie. Invite a friend for a cappuccino or a latte, and draw designs in the milky foam using a toothpick.

Shift your viewpoint and look for the ways your creative sparkle can light up someone else’s world.

 


Comments

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 11:36:28

Love your wish! May abundant sparkle light your world even as you are lighting others:) As you wish for the world so I too wish as well:)

 

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 11:49:22

Thank you for sharing your story!
Taking the time to care is important.
As you wish for the world, I wish this for us all as well.

 

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 12:37:44

A beautifully written wish. I think the words "help me to understand" make a big difference when discussing things that we may not agree upon.
As Sara Rae wishes for the world, I wish for it as well.

 

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 13:29:52

This is so wonderful and brilliantly put.

As you wish for yourself (and the world), so I truly wish also.

 

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 15:33:29

As you wish for the world, I wish for the world also.

 

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 17:23:19

Thats awesome to not think of the dream for just one day to focus on someone else , beautiful ! cuz we're always thinking of the dream .

As you wish for the world , I wish with you also.

 

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 20:11:02

Looking from the other person's vantage point...great thoughts! As you wish for the world and yourself, so I wish!

 



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